This happens every year

I put too much faith in the wrong things. I admit it, I have a problem.

… So, for the third time in four years I went to watch the opening game of a NCAA Regional hosted by Long Beach State. (Actually, the first game I saw four years ago was a Super Regional and Jered Weaver pitched for LBSU. The closer blew the game in the ninth inning and the Dirtrbags were eliminated two days later. But that’s another story.)

So as you guessed by the parenthetical statement, the Dirtbags lost for the third straight time. Last year, they were one hit. Think about that, one hit in an era of aluminum bats, they were only able to get one hit. This year, they were able to get more hits, but their best pitcher – the one up for a national award – couldn’t get the job done and they lost to Fresno St. There were taken out of their misery on Sunday when San Diego defeated them.

I will admit, I had fewer expectations for them this year. They were hosting a regional against three other teams where their record against them this season was 1-7. They also struggled through the middle part of the season. And despite winning a share of the Big West Conference title, I never really had a good feeling about the team.

Well, professional baseball is still around and my beloved Giants are doing better than I expected. And the football is coming in less than two months so I can get ready for the 49ers. Whoopie!

Maybe I’m setting myself up again.

… This is the first blog I’m writing on my new computer. It’s a HP Pavilion with 3GB RAM, 250 GB hard drive with a Blu-ray drive. It’s awesome. I love this new computer. I love the keyboard too. Every time I type in a word, you can hear it. It makes the statement, “I mean what I type!”

The new computer comes with Windows Vista so I had to buy a new printer. I took the $120 of Best Buy gift cards and bought an HP all-in-one with wireless. I realized how cool it was when I was filling out a rebate form for my computer and thought about taking it to work for a photo copy, then realized, I can do that from home. It’s awesome.

… I went to Las Vegas for the four time in five months to “cover” another UFC event. It was exciting; Tito Ortiz in what could have been his last UFC fight, B.J. Penn defeating the guy he said he was going to kill.

We stayed in Jean, about 20 minutes away from the strip and again I won money there. Last year, I won $50 playing blackjack. This year it was $40 playing craps – and I never win at craps. My co-worker also couldn’t lose in nickel slots. He won at least $50 and every time he put money in a slot, he left with more.

I’m starting to like Jean more and more. The Gold Strike Hotel is something to be desired, but I’m winning.

… I saw my parents after I got back from Las Vegas. My father finally started getting radiation therapy and seemed fine. They were in town to watch their granddaughter make her first communion. I arrived too late to make the ceremony, but took them to the lunch with the family.

They waited until after lunch and I was driving them back to my sisters to gang up on me with questions. At first they asked, “When are you going to make your conformation?” Now, for those that are not Catholic, this should have been done while I was in high school. Somehow I slipped through. I told them it is hard to do since I have to work nights. They were steadfast saying the church would work with me if I explained my situation.

But their next point said by my mother was something I had never heard from them before. She told me – and maybe I lost something in the translation – that she was staying alive just for me to see that I find someone that will take care of me.

My mother has had diabetes for as long as, well, she’s been my mom. She’s managed it well. To me, this is the closest they’ve asked me, “When are you getting married?” In a strange way, it was kind of sad to me. Am I making my mom suffer? It also made me think. Who doesn’t want their parents to be at their wedding and I never worried about it until now.

I know she meant well when she said that, but it was kind of sad.

… Speaking of marriage, the person I associated the line “… marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.” from the movie “Wayne’s World” is getting married. I so happy for the both of them. I don’t think I’ve ever seen two people more compatible.

A rainy end to Spring

The traditional start to Summer is coming in with a storm.

… After solving the mysteries of the Rubik’s cube, I’ve decided to try and learn the piano. I figured it was the next natural step.

Target had a 61 key keyboard on sale for $77, so I figured why not. I’ve wanted to learn an instrument to give me something to do. Being that my love life hasn’t really blossomed, I thought why not do something constructive and better myself while I wait for cupid.

A friend of mine who is a big music fan – even though he has to admit his first concert was Barry Manilow – recommended the piano. I originally wanted to play the guitar and learn the “Estaban Way.” He said it would be more impressive to play the piano … and also his band needed a keyboard player. Well, I may never get to that level.

The keyboard comes with 100 songs programmed in, with three different levels to learn a song. The first 50 can be done with one hand. So far, I’ve learned to play “London Bridge,” the happy birthday song and “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” which doubles for the ABC song. So, you can say I paid that much to learn that much to learn three/four songs. But it’s still early.

I’ve tried a two hand song, “Ode to Joy” and have it worked out with my right hand, now I have to pick it up with the left. As long I don’t give up, it shouldn’t be a problem, right?

… Recently, I wrote a strongly worded response to a friend who wrote blog that was so beneath a civilized person. I don’t want to get into what it was, but I know at least two people read it and agreed with most, if not all of it. They might have been surprise with the strength of it.

I’m not writing about that reply. I started writing online almost two years ago, not meaning it to be serious. It had been about a year or so that I had been fired from the Press-Enterprise and had given up on writing. I started the blog on myspace just as a way to write once in a great while.

Then, I felt the passion to write again and tried to blog once a week only to find it didn’t get many hits. So I stopped for a while because I felt I was wasting my time. But what I was finding was what I was missing in Riverside. I found my voice. I started to wonder how come I never wrote like that before I was fired. I’m thinking it was because I lost my passion in Riverside. I was beat down and felt under appreciated, so maybe I just stopped caring.

So, do I want to start writing again for a living? I don’t know.

(Coincidentally, this is the last blog I write on my Compaq computer as I bought a new HP that comes with a Blue-ray player. I had my eyes on a new one and I couldn’t wait any more.)

… I have been haunted recently of echoes. You see May 31 would have been the 11th anniversary of being with Valerie. As that day approaches, I start to think back at the happy times. Just the little things remind me of her. Of course, after the good times, I start to think about the bad times and I just wonder why it didn’t work. I’m probably better off with out her.

I don’t expect many of you to get this. I just needed to say that.

I wasn’t involved, I swear

After three, 20 minute basketball games I’m sore. Not only that, but we finished in fifth place. Never mind there were six teams.

… A story broke recently on ESPN accusing a runner for a sports agent company giving former USC basketball player O.J. Mayo an extraordinary amount of gifts. Clothes, dinners and a flat screen television are just a few of the examples this runner allegedly gave Mayo.

Now, why would I mention this story? Coincidence. Well for starters, the insider that broke this story used to work at the Press-Telegram as a prep reporter/editor.

Big deal? Perhaps.

Well this runner has also been driving around a Lexus that was purchased from Toyota dealership owned by two former San Francisco 49ers, one of who went to USC. And where is this Toyota dealership? Tracy, California.

So again, if you hear a story about a person who used to work at the P-T involved with O.J. Mayo and a guy driving a Lexus he purchased in Tracy, that person isn’t me.

… Getting back to where I work, the computers were finally fixed a week ago. I know you’ve been on the edge or your seats for that news.

Since I’ve moved over to Torrance and worked there for a week into it, I thought that by May I would have a better idea of what I wanted to do and where I’d want to be. I gave it to May since there is three pay checks in this month and the Daily Breeze was supposed to move to a new building and around this time.

Well they still haven’t figured out where they are moving.

Have I decided about moving on? Well, I’m not planning on having my retirement party here with the Los Angeles Newspaper Group. I like the people I work with and what I do, I just have to look out for myself. Layoffs are always on my mind. My brother-in-law that worked in TV news told me once: “The only person you have to stay loyal to is yourself.”

The problem is that I’m starting to make more than someone who is just starting out in another field at an entry level position. So if I move out of newspapers, I’m probably going to lose money. However, I’d hope, I’d be in a more stable place.

But another friend of mine, who like me was run out of the Press-Enterprise only to find a better paying job, told me since I work at a newspaper, I may not realize how much I’m getting underpaid. So we’ll see.

… As you can tell, I have little confidence in the LANG, but it’s only the start. I also have little confidence in the job market as well, which will probably make me stay longer than I’d want.

I’m sure I’m not alone in having little confidence in anything. There is inflation everywhere. The dollar isn’t worth as much as it used to be around the world. Our president got us involved in a war that, by his miscalculations, is still going on. And of course, there is an energy crisis with gas prices soaring. Maybe some of us feel that it’s only going to get worse.

All this sounds familiar, in a way, to me. Watching the History channel as much as I do, I know I’ve seen this all before.

So I’m reminded of Jimmy Carter’s “Crisis in Confidence” speech delivered almost 29 years ago. For 10 days prior to the speech, he listened to a cross section of the people and wrote down what they said. Then he got in front of the nation and for more than 30 minutes delivered a speech discussing the problem of United States is not what you can see, but beneath it all.

"In a nation that was proud of hard work, strong families, close-knit communities, and our faith in God, too many of us now tend to worship self-indulgence and consumption. Human identity is no longer defined by what one does, but by what one owns. But we've discovered that owning things and consuming things does not satisfy our longing for meaning. We've learned that piling up material goods cannot fill the emptiness of lives, which have no confidence or purpose."

By the end of the speech, Carter implores everyone to come together.

"Little by little we can and we must rebuild our confidence. We can spend until we empty our treasuries, and we may summon all the wonders of science. But we can succeed only if we tap our greatest resources – America's people, America's values, and America's confidence."

History looks at the speech as a president blaming the people for the problems in the U.S. In hindsight, this speech may not have been the best to give by a president. However, if given by anyone else it would be very powerful.

I recommend reading it only if you have a half-hour because, even though it was written when I was 1, it still rings true today.

Thoughts from an older person

I’ve been a 30-year-old for more than a week! Am I feeling better about it? No. But I’m sure the exclamation point threw you off.

… Not surprisingly I worked on my birthday. I brought in cupcakes.

The next day I had two parties. The first I had with current and former co-workers at my friend Werstine’s house. It was nice to see everyone together again, catching up with how people are doing since the layoffs. The host even made me a cake and said he was going to put pink frosting on it. I said he didn’t know how to make pink frosting. So my cake had pink frosting.

During that time I received a gift that many from the Press-Telegram considered an honor for me to have. In fact, I was told the story of this figurine. I don’t want to give away what it is. I will say, I don’t know where, or if to, display this piece of P-T history.

Later that night, I had dinner with my sisters and their children. I’ve learned that if I want to talk to my sisters during this time, I have to do that before we have dinner, because once we get to the table, the kids take over. I will say that it the first time in my 30 years that I had a political discussion with my family at the dinner table. Of course, the kids led it. There was mudslinging too, “Hilary is a monster!” one child shouted.

I also received another cake. Now I had left over the first party and cupcakes from the day before. So, in total, I had half a round cake, half a sheet cake and five cupcakes.

On Friday, I saw two movies, “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” and the latest Harold and Kumar movie. I thought FSM was an excellent movie and it kept you guessing about what would happen. Of course, it reminded me of my failed relationship, but also showed me that I’m better off on my own. Harold and Kumar was a last second arrangement as I met a friend as other plans I had for that day fell through.

… I finally started my traffic school from the ticket I got last September. Now I’m an unintentional expert on traffic school since this is the fourth time I’ve done it, and this teacher is unlike the rest. If John Keating were a traffic school instructor, he’d be this guy. (Name that movie.) He was playing the piano telling stories and talking about everything but traffic safety, but at the same time, he was talking about it.

He also showed the typical traffic safety movies. One video was hosted by Craig T. Nelson and had MC Hammer make a speech. The other had Christopher Reeve before his horse riding accident, which I found a little ironic and that made me feel guilty.

I have eight more hours to go.

... I've just finished a shift at work where the computer system tanked. Now, you'd think that a newspaper chain our size in the No. 2 market in the country would have some sort of back up plan. Well, for the second straight day, it will be a very striped paper. It's an easy payday with free pizza included.

… People have asked why I started a blog. Well I haven’t started one; I’m just posting it where people can see it. In time I’ll repost older blogs.