My life at 29 years, 366 days

I have an extra day to enjoy my 20s due to the leap year.

… I spent day 365 of year 29 doing things a twentysomething person would do. I bought a pair of Air Jordans, my first pair ever, and ordered a Double King from Fatburger (that’s a pound of meat folks. HAWGH!). I figured no 30-year-old or older would buy Jordans and as for the Double King, that is best to be done before your 30. Incidentally, I came up with the slogan for the Double King, “The Double King Burger from Fatburger, because not everyone lives to their 70s.”

… As I sit here and write this, I can only look back and reflect on what is called “My Life.” I wonder sometimes if my life is that demotivational poster “Mistakes: It could be your purpose in life to serve as a warning to others.” I think it comes from the fact that I’ve always done things the hard way. Either, there is no way I should have done a lot of things I did or should have used better sense, but I did it anyway. For example: play high school football, be a Giants fan in Dodgers country, run a marathon, pick a profession in college that will probably be dead in 10 years.

But in each case, it made me the person I am today, hopefully for the better.

I have my health, and if it came down to it, I’m glad. I’ve been trying to get in better shape – sans the Double King – recently. I’m actually up to running now and for the first time in a long time, ran a mile in under 10 minutes. Now, I know this may not sound like a big deal, but when I started less than two months ago, I couldn’t get under 12 minutes. In case you are wondering, in high school I was able to run a mile around 5 and a half minutes. I think I can do a better time, but my running has been hampered by pain in my ankles, they actually feel like high ankle sprains and they burn. I’m sure it had something to do with the fact when I ran on the beach at first and it was at an angle. My ankles couldn’t take it and I haven’t rested them since I started.

I have my family. Everyone is fine, even though my dad has cancer but he’s a fighter. All my siblings are in a marriage – no divorces (7 out of 7) – and there are a total of 13 healthy children that call me uncle and are happy to see me.

I have friends. I don’t think I could’ve ever asked for a better group of friends. I know I’ve leaned on them more than I would have liked in the past two years and am so grateful that they are there. Everyone brings something different and that is what I love about all of them. There are different views, believes that it gives me plenty to think about and helps me look at all sides. Basically, “Don’t surround yourself with yourself.” Bonus points if you can identify that song.

I have a job. Unfortunately, it’s not as great as it once was. Someone asked if work was getting better. I told him, “I’m getting used to it.” He replied, “So it’s getting better.” I said, “Nope, there is a difference.” A friend from my last job said he knew it was getting bad when he was reading Dilbert and he was starting to get it. For me, the line from the movie Office Space: “It’s not that I’m lazy, it’s that I just don’t care.” is hitting home for me. I used to care more, but since bad deadlines are being pushed (10 p.m. first edition for sports is a joke since late results never get in and they gutted the P-T sports department) I’ve been finding ways to cut all the corners I possibly can. We miss deadline, but not by much. Some are saying that I’m thinking smarter; I reply by saying I just don’t care but it is funny how the two go hand and hand sometimes.

As for love, I’m on the outs with Cupid. In fact, the only thing about my life that is in a recession is that. A website said if you looked for someone like you looked for work, then you should have no problems. Well, apparently no one is hiring. Maybe I’m trying too hard. So, I think for now I’ll take the advice from The Supremes and won’t hurry love. When it happens, it happens. I think it will be more like my anyway.

… Tomorrow, I start Year 30, Day 1. I work, as usual, but will have lunch with a college friend as my only celebration. Wednesday starts the “fun” when I have a day party with friends and have dinner with my family that night.

I also wonder: is 30 just a number or will it change me?

And then there was one

It’s early March 31, 2008. The last day of my private hell that is every February and March. This year’s version might have been the worst on record.

These two months will have one more day to antagonize me. Let me recap and I’ll even get into my personal life. (And don’t give my any suggestions on what I should do to solve my problems. I’m talking to one person here.)

… The two months got off to a good start. I won money in Las Vegas while attending a UFC event. I had also made contact with a female, so it was easy for me to have a good feeling about these two months this time around.

Turns out, I screwed that up and never heard from her again. It was at this point, where things slowly slide into the abyss.

… My ex-girlfriend makes several appearances during this time and I should have known better than to talk to her. I find out the hard way why I should have just let things go.

… Then come all the troubles with the dismantling of the copy editing and design desks at the Press-Telegram. What I’ll never forget is we found out of the changes on leap day.

I’m at the Daily Breeze now and the best way I described working there that first week was "Each day is better than the next." I’ve had to do a lot of adjusting, mainly becoming a copy editor. I have less control of the P-T front page when I design, too. I’m not really designing anymore, just managing the pages.

However, that doesn’t make the job less busy. When I started at the P-T, our deadline was 10:45 p.m. for first edition. Now, we have to put out two papers by 10:40 (P-T’s deadline is now 10:05) with less people.

It is getting better in a way and I am getting paid more. At the same time, I don’t like it. I said I would give it until the summer, by then the DB should have a new building and I’ll see if there are any good changes. Of course, I could be laid off by then.

… I’ve also tried online dating, but have had very little success. And by very little success, I mean no success. I actually laugh at some of the things put by women on their profile. For example, on the site you can list the ethnic groups you’d be interesting in dating and this woman put didn’t put down Latino. In her short write up, however, it said race wasn’t an issue. There are other examples of this kind contradictory thinking.

… I went back to Las Vegas recently and lost money. I lost big in roulette and I rarely lose on that game. Every time I played, I lost. I cover half the numbers at any given time, so it was mind-boggling. I could only look at the calendar as an excuse.

… As if the news couldn’t get any worse, I also found out that my father has been diagnosed with cancer. I found that out the day I started at the DB.

The good news is that it was found in the very early stages and my dad will need to go in for radiation therapy for eight weeks and will be revaluated after that. He’s in good sprits, which makes me feel good.

… So what does the last day of my own private hell have in store for me? Well, I admit, I’m asking for it since I will be at Opening Day as my beloved San Francisco Giants take on the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Giants are predicted to be a bad team this year. Yet, it won’t stop me from rooting for them.

… But, the best thing about today is the knowledge tomorrow is not only another day, but will also be April.

Long road to ruin, maybe

I'm stuck on the Foo Fighters, sorry.

The next step of the Press-Telegram began on Thursday, and I can only speak for myself, but I didn't like it. Everyone else, I'm sure, had a better experience about it, but I think mine was the worst of the night.

The people at the Daily Breeze are great. They're friendly and helpful so it's not the people I work with now. We also had the fullest desk possible so that also gave me less to do.

I've been told it's too early for me to feel this way and I'm sure that is the case. As of right now, I'm doing a lot less designing and started to copy edit which I've been trained for, in college more than seven years ago.

Again, it's too early to tell.

I also heard that the remaining desk person in sports was overwhelmed with high school calls and that his supervisor and the night news editor had to help him answer phones. Usually in that case, he would have sports copy editors help out, but they are all gone. Somehow the decision to move the copy editors over is supposed to be better in the long run.

Again, it's too early to tell.

I miss all my coworkers stuck back at the ARCO Center in Long Beach and my thoughts are still with those that were let go.

Hearts gone cold/And hands are tied/Why’d you have to go/And let it die

I'm one of the 12. Does it make me happy, well in some regards it does. Remember, according to a former sports editor, anytime I spend working at a newspaper is on borrowed time.

But in the bigger picture, there are those that did not survive Wednesday with their jobs. I feel terrible.

In fact, earlier on Wednesday, most of the members of the sports staff gathered for a last time as a PT staff at a regular lunch spot, Genghis Kahn in the Lakewood Mall. We had a great time until one got a call from the top of the PT and we just looked at each other knowing it's begun.

Within 45 minutes most knew. Either the group at that table located in the Lakewood Mall or beyond knew where they stood.

One person in particular didn't survive the round of cuts. I felt so awful talking to him when he called to tell me the news. I found it really hard to talk to him, especially since he was taking it better then I was.

I don't think I've ever lost control of my emotions more in the past week over a bunch of co-workers. And it wasn't just me. In talking with others, they felt the same way and you could start to hear them well up when they spoke. And then they would tell me of other conversations with others.

After lunch, I went into the office with a co-worker and packed up. I also said more goodbyes.

Again, this is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone and I have this strange feeling it may happen again to me unless I find a new job in another industry with more job security.

I couldn't make it to end of the final desk shift at the Press-Telegram. I had made a prior commitment to a friend to attend the Foo Fighters concert at the Forum. In a way, I was looking forward to an escape from the recent realities. After suffering through the first two opening acts, the Foo Fighters made an appearance and they were beyond awesome. But wouldn't you know it, their first song reminded me of work, "Let it Die."

First day of the new Press-Telegram hits the streets on Friday.